Care-taker or care-giver?

For a very long time I've used these words interchangeably; care-taking and care-giving. Now I'm beginning to understand that there are worlds of differences between them.

When I ponder the experience of care-taking, I am aware that I'll give care to someone with an expectation (assumption?) of receiving something afterwards. I'll give to then receive.

Alternatively, when I ponder on the experience of care-giving, I am aware that the act of giving care to someone else is the desired expectation. I give for the act of giving.

When I reflect on the pattern of when I've historically care-took and when I care-gave, I'm aware of the factor of Need. When my needs feel met-enough, I'd care-give. When my needs do not feel met-enough, I'd care-take.

Morally, I feel humbled by this introspection of potentially giving care “selfishly”, to receive as a direct result. Rather than the perceived purity of altruisticly giving, selflessly in service. Why is selfish-giving bad and selfless-giving good? I'm beginning to believe that another layer of the distinction lies in Boundaries.

Boundaries are neither inherently good nor bad, though the awareness in which they're used is a big determining factor of helpfulness or not.

Without boundary awareness, when I selflessly care-give, I feel depleted… and when I selfishly care-take, I feel overindulged.

However, with boundary awareness: When I feel empty I can consciously replenish myself while care-taking with someone. We're both directly receiving. When I feel full I can consciously lighten myself while care-giving with someone. I consciously deplete while they therapeutically gain.

Care-taking with conscious boundaries can look like a self-esteem boost as a result of helping someone. Care-giving with conscious boundaries can look like a relaxation of perfection, a state of equanimity.

I wonder what other aspects and nuances are involved in this as well.

Anywho, these are my random mid-day thoughts... What is your perspective on care-giving and care-taking?

~Jared

#middaythoughts #random #selfawareness #caregiving #caretaking #philosophy